UES Safe Travels Brig Logs
Incident Report
Defendant became belligerent after breakfast, confirmed reports of alcohol ingestion and intoxication.
Attempted to initiate fistfight with eleven fellow crew members, simultaneously.
Security was unable to restrain Defendant.
Defendant collapsed from intoxication and was moved to brig for detoxification protocols.
Loader suit was required to move Defendant due to excess weight.
Notes
Whose idea was it to put this lardass on the crew? I've seen the guy's records. Old, drunkard, divorced, lazy. Is this where "seniority" gets you? Who cares about his naval record, he's a loose cannon! We saw what happened when he was drunk, and it can only get worse if we tell him he can't have any. Just keep this wino locked away until we get to the planet. Maybe we can "accidentally" leave him there when this rescue mission's over.
Incident Report
Defendant broke brig containment.
Presumed cause: leaning on cell door caused loss of structural integrity.
Defendant found after brief search, asleep atop the broken cell door, half outside of holding cell.
Loader suit again required to move Defendant to new cell. Instructed not to lean on door.
Notes
This is ridiculous, what is this guy MADE of? I'm not even sure we could control him if he really lost his cool. I'm starting to be thankful he spends most of his days drinking and napping.
Incident Report
Defendant became belligerent inside holding cell.
Presumed cause: Alcohol withdrawal.
Defendant noted saying, "I wanna make ma phone call! Get me on the horn with the gosh dern Cap'n. We's buds, he'll sort this out!"
Captain briefed on incidents involving Defendant, noted to have heavily sighed and instructed officers to "throw away the key"
Defendant remanded to brig until further notice.
Notes
Incident Report
Defendant broke brig containment.
Security Officer noted broken cell door and misplacement of Defendant.
Note found in Defendant's cell, reading "Gone Fishin'".
Security alerted to Defendant's escape.
Search conducted ship-wide for Defendant.
Security footage showed Defendant moving to cargo hold.
Confirmed misplacement of items in cargo hold:
1 (one) F135 Mobile Survey Platform
6 (six) Cargo pallets containing crew's alcohol rations for entire mission
1 (one) Cargo pallet containing food rations for planet-side crews
Security mainframe notes unauthorized drop pod bay activity.
Confirmed misplacement of 1 (one) drop pod.
Defendant has not been located.
Notes
I'm getting court martialed for this, aren't I?
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